Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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