i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
