I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
