We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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