I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
