in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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