she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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