I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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