My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
