You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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