someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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