alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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