My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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