The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
