i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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