i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
