I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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