Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
