So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
