HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
