Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He's on the porch naked. Help.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
