we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
