yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
