Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
