that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What a dumb baby whore.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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