Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
