Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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