Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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