Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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