Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
