1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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