Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
