Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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