I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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