I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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