how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
