i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
