what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
