He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
