Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
