did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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