Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
