Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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