fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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