one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
