My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
