Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
