If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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