So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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