I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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