Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Randomize
