Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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